Being a geek

Being a geek 

by Colleen Guzman

           Many of you reading this blog also watch our YouTube show so you already know that I am a seventh grade science teacher. Since today was May the 4th (Star Wars day) I decided to go to school in full Jedi gear. I am very fortunate to have an administrative team who encourages me to be myself and I want to be there being myself to help students who are like me but I must admit that it is extremely difficult.

           In order to understand my difficulty you have to have a little back story. When I was young I was made fun of and tormented over and over again. I was too tall, too fat, too strange, too geeky, too poor, etc. I have the lowest of low self esteem because of the years and years of name calling, shaming, and emotional harm. At one point in high school I was even cruel to my own very close friends because they were even geekier and nerdier than I was and I was tormented for being friends with them and I was just so tired of being tormented that I lashed out at them. That made me feel even more horrible about myself. So long story short I carry a ton of package around that makes me less than confident in myself and often makes it so I dislike myself.

          Also if you are in your forties like I am you realize that growing up in the 80's it was difficult to be a geeky. I was definitely not in fashion, it was still odd and being that I was a gamer specializing in tabletop games it was a stigma, I was possibly a devil worshiper and I may have even been in a dark room with a bunch of smelly guys being strange. Of course none of that was true but all of that was what people thought of me, and they tormented me for it so it has been difficult for me to own my geekiness at times.

        So now that you have some back story I can tell you my current story. Today for Star Wars day I wore my full Jedi gear to school. I sat in my car for  a few minutes convincing myself to get out that none of the teachers were going to make fun of me. I finally got out and headed to my classroom. I walked as quickly as I could and I reminded myself to hold my head high. As I entered the courtyard a large group of girls began to laugh very loudly and point at me. I almost froze, it took every ounce of my being to smile and keep walking. I reminded myself over and over again that I am 43 years old, people like me and I have to be okay with being a geek. I chanted this internally all the way down the 6th grade ELA hallway and then I turned the corner towards my hall and my classroom door. To my great surprise I was greeted with cheers and clapping. Several of my students were sitting there waiting for the school day to begin, some were in my D&D group, some were my Potter heads, some

were geeks like me. They lifted my spirits and their kindness warmed my heart. I was on cloud nine after that. There were other children during the day who sniggered a bit but most of the kids were kind and accepting and most of the adults were too. I took photos with students and they gave me a thumbs up and told me I looked great. I also got to see some other teachers dressed up in their Star Wars finery and I made some new connections with people. I even got to rage about a fellow teacher who wore the Chewbacca mask (If you watch the show you know Chewbacca mom makes me triggered.)

           I had a wonderful day but it was also very difficult and I am exhausted emotionally all over again just writing about it. I did feel like it was important that I write about it because I know people out there suffer through the same thoughts and feelings I have and I just want all of those people to know that they can do it. You can put yourself out there, you can be yourself and you may make a difference to someone who is afraid to be themselves too, or you could make a new connection with someone new. It is okay to be you and some people aren't going to be okay with that but ultimately it is you who has to be okay with that, so take little steps and start liking yourself because you're worth it. 

Suicide Squad Review

Suicide Squad Review

by Colleen Guzman

         There has been a lot of talk about how horrible Suicide Squad is and let's face it, it is pretty easy to believe that a DC movie would be less than enchanting considering their past mishaps but I say let's not all jump to conclusions. First and foremost I think that you should always go see the film yourself and make your own determination no matter what you read in a film review, even if you wait until it is in the cheap theater or is available to rent. So now that you have seen the film and formed your own opinion you can read my opinion and see if we agree or disagree.

          I must say that for the most part Suicide Squad was a good movie. I really enjoyed the way they gave us some insight and back story into each of the characters, I think that this is especially important for those viewers who have never read the comics and have no understanding of the characters. I think this also gives us a good view of what the director thinks of the characters so we know where he is coming from. I know a lot of people going into these types of movies don't want to see any story line they just wan straight fighting and action all of the time but for me some story line and character development are important.

         Speaking of character development let's talk about the two characters that really stole the show as far as I am concerned. I had heard that Harley Quinn was the highlight of the movie and I thought, "Well of course she is, look at that body and that outfit", but in all reality as nice as both of those things were it wasn't that, that made the character the star of the movie. For me the highlights were the actresses total immersion into the character. (Sorry if you've read any of my previous posts you will know that I don't particularly care to stroke the actors egos so I don't mention them by name and most of the time I don't know their names.) Harley is so nonplussed by everything, she just goes with whatever

presents itself and she goes at it full force with a little shoulder shrug and a turn of her head. She is full on inside of her insanity and she takes you there with her. Harley is also the comic relief in the story but she is not so comedic that she becomes the buffoon.

       

The other character who stole the movie was Amanda Waller. If looks could kill this woman would be deadly. The actress is so convincing that there are moments when you watch the movie and you are certain that you are in danger and she is coming for you. I loved her strength, her backbone and the nonsense way that she goes about everything. Amanda Waller knows she is going to get what she wants because she knows good and well that she is willing to do absolutely anything to get exactly what she wants. She is crooked and quite evil and frightening and I loved her. I think she truly stole the movie away from almost everyone and that is saying a lot because Will Smith was in this movie and that guy can really act, (okay yeah so I know his name, he is pretty fabulous just don't tell anyone I think so).

          I think overall people will enjoy this movie. The only downfall I found was that the main "villain" was entirely too powerful and the thing that is being created by it looks like the director watched X-Men Apocalypse and tried to copy it because they thought that was what made that movie successful. Aside from that hot mess the rest of the movie was really good. So I recommend you go, see the movie and enjoy it for what it is.

Game Review - Hive Mind

Hive Mind Calliope Games Titan Series

by Colleen Guzman

           Recently I went to Texicon in Hurst Texas and I was fortunate enough to meet a couple of talented individuals from Calliope games (not in the lead picture) who led me through some fun gaming sessions. The first game we played together was Hive Mind. As you can see from my title photo my friends and I are super excited to play the game and we are super silly so that always helps when embarking on a group game.

          Hive Mind is a group game where all of the players are bees within the hive and they are trying to be part of the Hive Mind, to keep the queen bee happy and stay in the hive. You are probably wondering what a little bee can do to be part of the hive mind and stay within the hive. The concept is simple, all you have to do is answer the questions the way you think the rest of the hive will answer the questions. For example, the question could be asking you to name 5 foods that make noise when you eat them. Each person must answer the question but you are trying to think of things that the other people will think of too because the more people who have the same answer the more points you get. So if seven people were playing and five of them said carrots were a noisy food to eat then each of those players would get five points from that one answer.

          Some of the really fun moments come during the answer reveal portion of the game where people tell you what their answer was to the question. Sometimes people have really good answers that no one else even thought of so everyone at the table is nodding and feeling proud of that person for the answer they gave but still not giving them any extra points. Another point of laughter emerges when someone gives an answer that is so out there that people have no clue where it even came from and that leads to huge discussions about what could've really been said or should have been said. That is one great thing about this game is that your answer does not have to be correct it just needs to match what other people are putting down as their answers. It is fun to watch how people get though when they become competitive and they want to see if the answer given really goes with the question asked but in the end it doesn't matter as long as other people answered the same thing.

         Over all I really enjoyed the game. I think it is a great game to play with your friends and would be perfect for a dinner party or for people who are new to tabletop gaming.

Swiss Army Man Review

Swiss Army Man - I feel so conflicted

by Colleen Guzman

          It is date night again and what better way to spend time with one another than side by side in a dark theater with some super buttery popcorn between you.  Vince was at a mall convention near a kitchy little theater called the Bijou and sure enough they were playing Swiss Army Man, so our curiosity got the best of us and we decided to go check out the film. I had seen a quick interview awhile ago where the actors and director were talking about the movie and the experience and they exuded so much love for the project that I thought, "I should really check this film out." Vince of course wanted to see anything with Swiss Army in the title and anything with so much farting, erection and masturbation humor just couldn't let you down.

         

            I must admit that the first fifteen to twenty minutes had me concerned that I had chosen the wrong movie to attend. There was so much flatulence it was a tad difficult to take and in fact some people walked out, which apparently happened at Sundance as well. There is a moment where the flatulence comes in handy as I'm sure you've seen in the trailers where Daniel Radcliffe is ridden like a jet ski, but once we get past that it really serves no purpose except to make the audience feel uncomfortable. I wondered at times if they took some of the taboo topics to the breaking point simply to see how much people would be able to stand in one movie or if in fact they wanted you to feel that uncomfortable so when you have to face the real turmoil within the story line you are already feeling so uncomfortable that you can almost physically feel the pain that Paul Dano's character feels.

        I don't want to give away too much about this movie because the confusion and the journey through it make this movie what it is. I would like to say that Daniel Radcliffe is immensely talented and his range of acting is more phenomenal than one might believe. It has to be difficult for him to rise above Harry Potter and become something else in our minds, but let me tell you that for me there was no point in the movie where I felt like I was watching Harry Potter run through an adventure in his life. I never wanted him to break out his wand and I never asked myself where Ron and Hermoine were. Daniel takes Weekend at Bernies to a whole other level because he is dead but yet not dead and you believe both so simultaneously that you begin to wonder if you are hallucinating. I don't want to downplay the role that Paul Dano plays in this film because he takes you on the ride into his character that I can't even begin to describe without giving away too much about this movie. When you pair them together they give you this perfection of a relationship that is so imperfect that you have a magical movie that strings you along, makes you horribly uncomfortable, and makes you take a look at how people are treated and how that treatment affects how they behave. This movie is difficult to watch at times but it is worth watching. Hang in there through the first 20 minutes of farting and you will get the opportunity to see a beautiful, sad, relationship movie.

Saying goodbye

Saying goodbye: Sometimes celebrity deaths make you sad

by Colleen Guzman

               Today we learned of the tragic untimely death of another celebrity. Anton Yelchin died unexpectedly in what appears to have been a freak accident. It is such a shame because he was still so young and had really just begun to show us what he was capable of as an actor. I love Star Trek and I truly enjoyed the newest installments in the Star Trek universe and I thought that Yelchin played a perfect Chekov. I enjoyed his boyish charm and I thought he took some notes from Walter Koenig that linked the character to my childhood memories of watching Star Trek with my parents. As I thought about this young

man and the character he played I began to wonder what it is about celebrity deaths that make them so important to us. I think some of the impact depends on how attached you feel to a particular celebrity or perhaps how attached you feel to the character they portray. I also think that losing a celebrity in the midst of filming or while they are playing a recurring character is difficult.

               If you've watched the show you may have heard my disdain for celebrities, and it's not that I have anything against them as people but I truly dislike the whole celebrity worship thing many people have going. I really can't stand the amount of money they make, their gall at asking us to help with a charity when they have so much and they get so much for free, their self importance, the fact that they want people to pay almost a full day's salary just to get a photo with them at a convention, etc., etc. I don't really like the whole system that surrounds them but I am not a heartless cad so when one of them dies I do feel for their families and sometimes when one of them dies I feel a little bad when they played a character that I truly loved. I

have made some pretty strong connections to characters, I have cried when they die in a book or show or movie so when I was thinking about celebrity deaths I could see how a person could be saddened by the death of a celebrity if they loved the character that celebrity was portraying. I know that when Heath Ledger passed away and since his passing I have thought about what a riveting Joker he was and how we will never have another Joker who was quite as convincing, quite as disturbing, that there will just never be another Heath Ledger Joker and for that I feel a sense of loss.

               Many times we don't see celebrities as people, we only see them as the character they portray and each time they portray that character we become more and more attached to them and we begin to see them as that character and not as the person they are. This happens more often when the celebrity is portraying a character in a series of movies that haven't completed filming. We've seen this happen more times than we would like and each time it happens it is difficult for the celebrity that follows them to step into their role. It is also difficult for the people who have become attached to the original celebrity to accept that someone else has to fill that role and that they will most likely fill it in a different way, or they may not meet the criteria for perfection that the first celebrity met for us. For some people the loss of a celebrity actually becomes the loss of a character they have become attached to so they mourn that loss.

               In my opinion the thing I think that we need to remember when a celebrity dies is that we did not know them, not truly. We have social media, news stories, articles in magazines, etc. but we don't really know them. When a celebrity dies it doesn't really effect all of us out here in la-la land but it actually does effect their families and the people who knew them as actual human beings and loved them for the people they were not for the persona they hid behind, the character they portrayed or the person we thought they were. People need to remember that celebrities are people, they come from somewhere, they have their own circle and they do not belong to us. when a celebrity dies we should feel for their people and then we should swiftly move on and give the next celebrity a chance.

TMNT Out of the Shadows

TMNT Out of the Shadows : Maybe they should've stayed there

by Colleen Guzman

             I know, I know I am supposed to be the one who goes into these films with an open mind. I am always preaching how people should look at these films as their own works of art created by a person with their own views of how the characters should be and their own unique ideas about what should be going on with said characters. I try really hard to go into each film and look at them that way but sometimes when a film is about characters that you love, that you have invested your time and imagination into, and that you feel

you have seen portrayed in better ways it is very difficult to be objective about the film. I can say that I did not hate the film, it was definitely no Fantastic Four but it had some moments where it was pretty close. I think I am going to rate films based on how many times I go to the restroom, because I drink a lot of soda during the movie and I really have to go to the bathroom very badly several times but in a good film I will suffer, sitting at the edge of my seat, unbuttoning my pants, rocking back and forth until the credits roll and I jump up and run to the restroom. During films I could care less about I get up and go to the bathroom 2 or 3 times depending on the length of the film. During Now You See 2 I went to the bathroom 0 times, during TMNT Out of the Shadows I went to the bathroom 3 times. So I am beginning to think my restroom pattern is a good way for me to score these movies that we attend. The more toilets a movie gets the worse it is. I'll keep working on this concept.

            So for TMNT 2 I was optimistic, I didn't hate the first one it was pretty okay and had some fun moments. Consistently, between the two movies I must say that I am really disappointed that Donatello (my favorite character by the way) has to be portrayed wearing glasses, because of course since he is extremely intelligent he must wear glasses like any good nerd would. I dislike the stereotyping and where else has Donatello every been portrayed as having glasses? The character also seems to be more bumbling than he normally would be. I think getting the characters right is one of the problems these movies had and continue to have and in fact in the second movie Splinter seems like he is just thrown in there because they had too and there was no thought of his character, his leadership and no thought to how we might react to the very obvious change in the voice actor they used for him. I also wasn't very impressed with Casey Jones, I felt like he wasn't edgy enough, the chip on his shoulder wasn't blatant enough and he just didn't have that hit first ask questions later attitude that you are looking for when you see Casey Jones. I think the best characters were Bebop and Rocksteady which is why I used their picture to begin this article. Overall, characterization was lacking in this movie.

               One thing I will say for this movie is that there were a few moments when the movie took me back to my younger years to the animated series that I truly loved to watch on Saturday mornings. I really felt like the scenes involving Krang had a very cartoon feel to them and they seemed like they were pretty true to the

direction that the animated series had taken. I would say that I really enjoyed the scenes that Krang had, he has some interactions with Shredder, an interaction with himself and his robot body and of course a battle scene interaction with the turtles. In all of these scenes I got the animated series feel that I was hoping for, so for that alone I didn't hate this movie.

         I don't think that I could truly hate this movie because after all "I love being a turtle" and I love seeing shows and movies about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I an pretty sure I am not going to be purchasing this movie and I didn't purchase the first one but it did strike a spark in me to want to go watch my copies of the three previous TMNT movies and to see if I can find the animated series on YouTube or Netflix. I am also going to re-read my comic books. Overall the film was okay, if you aren't a fan of the turtles then you probably enjoyed it more than I did and if you are a fan, go watch your old stuff and keep reading those comics.

Convention, Convention, Convention

Conventions, Conventions, Convention: Are we over them yet?

by Colleen Guzman

               So I guess everyone has heard about the whole debacle that was Space City Con in Houston. We didn't attend this year, we had in the past when it first started but weren't super impressed so we haven't been back since. Now come to find out the promoter didn't pay actors (god forbid those little darlings not get paid), nor did he pay staffers and other entities that were promised payment. Apparently, checks have bounced and accounts have downright been closed. All I can think is here we go again, this is the beginning of a downward spiral for conventions in general. I mean have we forgotten DashCon already? 

               I realize that not everyone can make it to the grand daddy of all cons, that most people don't have the funds or stamina to withstand something like San Diego Comic Con so these little regional conventions are great for those people, however my question has quickly become "Are they really that great?" I wonder at times what is it exactly that these poor people are paying for? If you have never been to a convention do you realize that some of these people pay in the ballpark of $500.00 to get into the convention, to get to meet a bundled group of celebrities for about 5 minutes or so, they get a group photo that looks like it was taken at Sear and Roebuck in the 1970's (The photo is one my friend's family took with a celebrity at a comic convention, notice the lame background.) they get some autographs and some convention swag and that's about it for $500.00. Then what? Do they get to ride the magical pony into fairy land? No I don't think so. Do these promoters and celebrities know that these people who make minimum wage have to work 40 hours at their jobs for 2 weeks to afford something like that and then that is all they get? No dinner and a movie, no second date, just a strange pic, a how-do-you-do and off with you next cattle in line please....oh and don't forget to go to the vendor room and spend more of your hard earned money. So when these promoters screw the celebrities over and the celebrities have a fit and leave then the people who really lose out are the sad fans who probably spent part of their rent money to pay to meet these idiots in the first place. These celebrities do know that just by speaking to people for less than 2 minutes and signing those autographs, if they just do that for 20 people per day for 3 days they make $2400.00 dollars which is about what a minimum wage worker makes in 2 months not 3 days.

               Now don't get me wrong I am all for conventions and I see nothing wrong with them as a general rule. I mean San Diego has some really nice events like movie announcements and exclusives and that is great and all but these regional conventions don't offer those things because San Diego has already taken them all. So what is it that people are paying for when they go to these conventions? It seems to me that they are paying to meet celebrities and to hear them speak. I know one of the greatest convention moments I had was at Alamo City Comic Con in San Antonio when I went to the panel where Jim Cummings, Rob Paulsen and some other voice actors read the script of Back to the Future using the voices from their animated characters. I felt like that was something special, something unique that I could not get anywhere else. I also saw an artist who was there painting on clear plexiglass, he painted the image backward from his perspective so we could see it come alive from our side of the plexiglass. That was also something special. These things don't always happen at the convention and they can't happen every year because then they become less special and lose their value but I believe that something like this should be happening. I think that when people are putting on a convention they need to give the people some entertainment and not just let them pay to get in so they can stand in line and pay again to get some celebrity to sign a picture of themselves or worse yet to have to pay to get to take a selfie with the celebrity, they don't even come together you have to pay for each or either.

              I think the market has become so saturated with conventions in every city and in every state that they are losing their uniqueness and that special quality that once made them great. In my opinion these conventions need to find a way to get back to the roots of what a convention should be about. If you have a comic convention then have a seminar where I learn how to draw like a cartoon artist, or I get to watch a

colorist take a piece and turn it into the wonder that we see in print. If you have a horror convention then have a haunted house area that is included in my ticket price, or a seminar on how to do spooky make-up with things in your home or zombie prep your house, etc. There are ways you can get people from the community who love the fandom, who have talent who will do these things for free or a small fee. If you have 30,000 paying $80.00 each to get into your event you can have a little something for them to do. If you screw up and you don't have the money to pay for things then you need to be up front, you have to refund people's money and you have to tell the celebrities not to come. All the promoters out there need to think about what they are doing to conventions and the legacy that was built before they tried to ride those coat tails.

          Are we over them yet? No I don't think we are I think we still like to gather and talk to people who love the same fandom that we love, I think we love to see people in cosplay, I think we like to see the talent of the artists and the wares of the vendors. I do however think that we may not be able to take much more and eventually things will have to change or conventions may be simply a memory.